


achin' bones may not break my soul

by skinandbones



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Forgetful Ardyn but he's tired and old, Gen, He needs a well deserved rest..., Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 07:04:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12882645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinandbones/pseuds/skinandbones
Summary: "Two thousand years is a long time to remember and a lot of time forget. What if Ardyn forgets he was wronged, forgets he was cursed, forgets the prophecy and his plans and all that remains is a very tired old man who doesn't know why he can't die and has terrible tastes in fashion.IDK I just picture Ardyn living a normal-ish life, complaining about damn kids on his lawn and losing his keys in his pockets while all this prophecy stuff is going on the background."Fill for the ffxvkinkmeme.





	achin' bones may not break my soul

**Author's Note:**

> I had fun with this one, hope you guys are amused as I am!
> 
> Here's the link to [prompt](https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/4398.html?thread=7809838#cmt7809838)

Ardyn hates how his ice cream is going to melt, and with his car dying during his long drive, he’ll never make it home on time. He was so sure his car would last before taking it to a shop, but no, he must’ve miscalculated.

It’s hot and summery, the sun is beaming on his face. Sweat accumulating on his forehead and the ridge of his nose. He isn’t wearing sunscreen, so he’ll probably end up with a burn like a lobster. That’s going to get ugly. His coat and hat are thrown precariously into the car, and his tub of white chocolate raspberry truffle is now in both hands. Luckily, he brought an extra spoon, so with a lift of the cover, he starts eating it like some angry arba.

The ice cream is fucking delicious. The sun sucks, and his baby needs a break.

By the time Ardyn finishes the entire container, his car is finally towed, thanks to Cindy, and he spends the rest of the day moping in the garage until his baby is ready to head home. He meets Cid and finds out he’s actually good company. Ardyn likes it a lot when someone listens to him speak until the old man falls asleep on the recliner. Great.

It’s also great when another $1,000 goes down the drain, but Ardyn doesn’t care anymore when he can throw money in the air like salt on his salt parade. The sun is down, he’s exhausted, his legs are aching, even his back decides to throw him a fit. A quick call to Galdin Quay and he makes an appointment for tomorrow’s spa. His eyes can barely remain wide open, so he stays in Hammerhead and rents out the trailer to sleep for the remainder of the night.

He goes inside and falls on the small bed rather quickly, shoving his shoes right off before diving into the deep.

Goodnight.

When morning hits, well, he wakes to a bunch of kids making a lot of noises instead.

“What the…” He hears a loud shrill following by multiple giggles. The pillow over his head technique doesn’t work. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, shut up.” A groan, the bed squeaks, Ardyn feels like a train wreck. Sitting up, he wobbles his way and opens the door with a quick shove.

The kids jump, all innocent eyes on him. One scared and two others confused.

“Have your parents taught you any manners, little ones?” Ardyn asks calmly, but his mind begs him to go back to sleep. “To not disturb your elders? There are laws in this universe where manners are a requirement and every one of you is breaking at least two of them.”

The children remain silent.

He sighs and waves his hand for them leave. Wasting more time isn’t going to bode well. “Well go on, get out of here. Shoo, shoo. I demand absolute peace.”

The little girl begins to cry first, her wails fill in the air as the boys turn frazzled, trying to calm her down.

“You made her cry!” The boy with golden locks yells at him while the other tries shushing the girl. “Adults aren’t supposed to make kids cry! You’re mean!”

The girl whimpers while rubbing her eyes with her tiny fists. The second child with darker skin pats her back.

Ardyn rolls his eyes, unamused by the entire scene as a hand rests on his waist. “Listen here, I don’t have time for your foolish words. Don’t make me come over there, so please leave or I will take matters into my own hands.” He takes one step out as a threat, and the children gasp out loud.

“Go away!” Goldilocks picks up a pebble and throws it at Ardyn, completely missing the man before telling the two to start running.

“How eventful.” Ardyn’s lips curl downward. When the kids are finally out of his sight, the man strokes his temple in circular motions. “Why the hell aren’t I dead yet?” The biggest mystery waiting to be solved. “Feels like I reached the end of my time but apparently it’s not over. Someone answer that question. Please.”

No one does. No sign is given.

Ardyn slams the trailer door shut and returns to bed.

When afternoon arrives, he’s awake and in a better mood. Hot coffee and some eggs with sausages at the diner did his stomach some good. He fashions away his Chancellor clothing and dresses in brown shorts and fire hydrant red crocs. His top is a simple blue polo shirt adorn with his fabulous scarf he can’t seem to put away.

It’s still hot outside, but the scarf is a statement most people don’t seem to understand.

And how nice is to wear shorts again. He forgets those legs of his need some air time. And shaving? He’ll do it later. And by later, that means never.

Takka, the owner of the diner, keeps staring every chance he gets. Ardyn is sure this place hasn’t received such fabulous customers like him but first time for anything. The staring is a bit rude, but Ardyn doesn’t mind the extra attention, he can wear whatever he wants. Hell, if he came in with his underwear on, well, that would surely rouse the morning people definitely. Forget the coffee, right?

Ardyn sends the owner a fine wink and ends up receiving a raised brow before the latter takes care of another customer’s order. “The coffee’ great, Takka!” He raises the hot cup, and Takka mutters something of a “yeah, let me know if you need a refill” comment, and that’s enough to earn the owner a satisfying smile of pearly whites.

With a generous tip, Ardyn takes his leave and makes his way to Galdin Quay for his 3:30pm appointment.

When he parks the car and spots the lovely restaurant ahead, he notices Noctis and his friends were all together at the front.

“Oh, some familiar faces. I feel so blessed.”

But Ardyn stops when he spots something shiny on the floor. He picks up the distracting piece of metal and discovers it’s an ascension coin. “Ah, what luck.” He keeps it close to him and jostles his way over.

As the young adults pay no attention to his forthcoming, Ardyn has to present himself in the best way possible. His voice rings out. “My day feels so much better when I’m graced with the presence of the Lucian prince. It’s an absolute joy to see your marvelous face.”

Of course, Noctis’ buddies start acting apprehensive around Ardyn.

Odd.

It must be the scarf. Ardyn moves it around his neck, making sure the length is proper, and flashes Prompto’s cautious gaze with a wink. He catches the crinkles at the corner of the gunner’s eyes.

“Apologies, I mustn’t waste your time. It seems the prince is here for a massage, no?” Ardyn gestures over to the one man pampering a customer in the back hall. “I would recommend him when you can, his fingers know how to get into your skin deep. It’s the good kind of pain, so I hope you don’t mind it. When your back has all these kinds of knots, he’ll get rid of them like no other. You’ll be a whole new person after that, trust my word.”

“Yeah?” Gladiolus stands in front of Noctis, his chin rises proudly. “And who says?”

“My, my… A man who is fashionably late for his appointment.” Ardyn clicks his tongue and flips the coin over Gladiolus’ head. It lands into the prince’s hand as a parting gift before he marches inside for his well deserved treat. “For good luck.”

“Hold on a minute!” Noctis calls out to him.

Ardyn lifts a finger and looks behind his shoulder as Noctis is rooted to the floor with a firm stare. “Nuh uh, Your Highness. Maybe later.”

His two-hour session with the masseuse turns out to be three. Guess one can say he was drowning with those hands on him and couldn’t roll away.

By the time he’s standing in front of his car, he can’t find his keys.

“Oh. That’s unfortunate. Sorry girl, it seems I must have…” He searches his other pockets, digging deep into the fabric but they all came up short. “Misplaced them. Guess I dropped them somewhere.” Shoulders fall in almost defeat and fingers tapping against his door, Ardyn drifts in thought with this second mystery he has to solve.

Until a black and white dog nudges against his leg with its cold nose and drops the keys in front of him, its tail wagging behind.

“What’s this?” Ardyn brightens over the gift and bends his knees, picking up his keys from the ground. “You know, today isn’t so bad after all.” He gives the dog some good rubs on its head before turning home with the radio blasting into the night and no one to bother him.

**Author's Note:**

> @[ofskinandbones](http://www.ofskinandbones.tumblr.com).


End file.
